Learning to stay the course even when everyday feels like another Monday…
I haven’t had as much mental bandwidth lately to write more than maybe one post a week, but I’m being reasonably gracious with myself. I’m just trying to consistently stay the course as best as I can through this whole chaotic season. Maintain sanity. Enjoy wind-down time with my husband in the evenings while we binge Starfield…and wine.
Potty training Orson has been disheartening. Nova’s gums are bulging, and she’ll be cutting her 2nd year molars very soon. So she’s feeling miserable. Really, we’re all feeling our fair share of misery.
Stay the course with potty-training…
This is a tough course on which to stay. It honestly feels as though it’s led to disaster for our connection with Orson. Logically, I know it’s not as bad as all that, but oof. He is so completely anti-cooperation as a result of potty-training.
All of the theoretical knowledge and know-how is there. He just applies the knowledge very selectively. At home: where does the pee-pee and poo-poo go, Orson? He gleefully responds with an exuberant “Potty!” But it literally never ends up in the potty unless we prompt him. Out in public (like during a recent visit to our favorite park), however, he’s kept his underwear dry and has pointed out restrooms he wants to use.
Moments ago, though, during his nap/quiet time, I spied him on the monitor playing with his own poop. His potty seat is literally right next to his bed. He knows how to use it. He’s able to pull his own underwear up and down. The option is also available to him to call out for Mama and Papa to help him. Nope. No progress.
It feels like the only progress being made is the progressive deterioration of connection. Everything has turned into a massive power struggle. He responds to every question or attempt at communication with a sullen “all done”. I know he’s stressed and frustrated. We are ALL stressed and frustrated.
Try to explain to a toddler that blocking communication just worsens the stress.
So, what to do? Some advice will say “take a break from potty-training”. Other advice says “don’t take a break no matter what. It will make it harder in the future.” Hello, this is already our 3rd attempt. I feel like I have no alternative but to “stay the course” this time. Especially since he’s shown he gets the concepts.
Maybe we’re all going a little stir crazy…
I’ve considered that the abrupt cessation of frequent outings and adventures may be in part to blame for the lost connection. Since starting potty-training Labor Day weekend (I can’t believe it’s already almost October), we haven’t really been out and about as much. Apart from a quick grocery run to Walmart or HEB.
Quite the departure from weekly (sometimes multiple/week), adventures to the New Braunfels Public Library and the San Antonio Zoo.
I saw last week in an email that, for September weekdays, all of the Kiddie Park carnival rides are free with admission. What an awesome deal! I KNOW Orson would love that. He so enjoyed the time I let him ride the cars. Nova, not so much.
We had to put our car in the shop to have the tires changed Saturday the 23rd (apparently, the lug-nuts were swelling, a common Ford issue). I played it safe and decided to wait until after the maintenance and take them this week. Orson was pumped about it. I packed extra changes of clothes and underwear and Walmart bags for any accidents, and we went for it.
Boo-Hoo at Zoo Boo…
It was a really nice refresher to escape our house with the babies after feeling so cooped up. Maybe this is exactly the boost we need to stay the course in the midst of the storm…the weather is nice. Super humid, but not as blistering hot, so I’ll take whatever wins I’m granted. Hopefully, the Kiddie Park isn’t slammed when we get there…
Yes, it was super busy. And, unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be a 1:1 ratio of ride operators to attractions. Orson HAD BEEN excited to ride the boats. It’s something he’s requested in the past, but we just hadn’t gotten to try yet. We waited several minutes before someone was able to come let the babies on.
By this point, Orson was already a bit of a nervous wreck. Between the building anticipation and excitement, the stimulating environment, and the uncomfortable, over-stimulating wrist band for ride admission, it was all too much.
I had buckled Nova into the backseat of the boat, thinking if she sees Orson in front of her, she may stay calm and enjoy it. As I helped Orson into the front seat, he dissolved into a whimpering puddle of anxiety. “All done boat! All done boat!” Bummer, but okay. I pulled him out. The ride operator began moving Nova’s boat forward to load the next one…
That’s when she lost it. Poor little girl, quietly wailing in panic, tears streaming down her face.
We had to wait for the boats to make the full rotation getting loaded with kids before I could rescue her. By the time the boat made it around to me, she was just frozen, staring down. Sad, pitiful, and terrified. I’m sure overly-sensitive from the teething. And this was not exactly the distracting amusement I was hoping she’d have.
Jesus, take the wheel…
After rescuing Nova, Orson still requested to go get on the car ride. Sure thing, bud. Let’s give it a shot.
Again, I think standing in line was ultimately Orson’s undoing. Not because he’s impatient. It’s more like he psyches himself out. Not to mention, there was a little boy in the group of kids ahead of him who broke down crying during his turn. Anticipation, seeing someone else having a “scary” time, overwhelm…
Then, it was Orson’s turn. And it wasn’t a peaceful transition.
He confidently went through the gate and chose the car he wanted to ride in–a train engine! Only issue right then? Nova assuming I was going to put her on another ride. I set her down to quickly buckle Orson in. She runs, crying and screaming, through the gate. The gracious ride operator held her hand long enough for me to retrieve her and pick her up.
But, hey, Orson was going to get to ride the cars like he wanted. All worth it for him to have fun today. Even though the humidity is really getting to me by this point. I’m soaked with sweat, Nova’s having a breakdown, and this hasn’t been going well at all. But Orson having fun will make it all worth it.
And that’s when he sees me smiling and waving to him and absolutely loses his mind screaming for me.
Well, it was a nice thought. I guess we can still go see the lions before we head home…
The lions were sleeping. The Zoo Boo decorations were freaking Orson out. Nova was miserable.
Mondays, am I right?
Staying the course in the midst of the storm…
Today definitely didn’t feel like any kind of success. This whole season has been one of “Everything/Everywhere/All at Once”. There are ALWAYS fires to be put out, ANOTHER phase to survive, SOME storm to weather, A freaking course to stay on…
Nathan mentioned the other day that, while looking back over this past year, it seemed that him being unemployed for 4 months has been the easiest thing we’ve had to overcome for 2023. I added that that’s also about the only RESOLVED issue we’ve dealt with this year.
Still sleep-training Nova. Still potty-training Orson. Car issues. Parenting issues. Therapy and C-PTSD issues. And all of us just recovered from norovirus a couple weeks ago. Nova may be sleeping better, but we all need some serious SOUL REST.
It would ultimately be a lot easier to stay the course if we felt like we were making progress…otherwise, it all feels like failure and survival. We MUST be doing something wrong.
But we’re not. For all of our trials and tribulations, for as much as some days have me and Nathan both feeling like we want to RUN, we ARE doing the best we can. For as much as the circumstances have us feeling like we’re in a type of purgatory, all seasons end. Change is inevitable. We just have to stay the course. And we are.
We just hope that we all come out better for it when the clouds finally part.
Or that, at the very least, Orson will finally be potty-trained.