Calming the Chaos with Sensory Toys

A sensitive boy and his sensory toys to help with all of his OCD “joys”…

Before jumping into this article about sensory toys, I’ll preface that it’s about way more than that. It’s about our boy Orson, red flags, and early intervention. It’s about pivoting, reaching out to others for help when it’s needed, and advocating for your family. And it’s about finding balance, the peace in taking a step back, and holding out hope for growth.

But don’t worry, we’ll talk all about sensory toys as well! You can jump to that section here!

Sending Out an SOS

This unending epical saga of potty-training Orson has revealed so much to us about his personality and about ourselves as parents. Some of these revelations have been affirming, but generally speaking, it’s been defeating, demoralizing experience gained with little to no growth to show for it. At least in terms of potty-training progress.

More than that, though, it’s revealed to us some concerning red flags.

We’ve suspected for a couple years now that he could very well have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Genetically, it runs in the family. Generally, Nathan and I also share some OCD tendencies. We both want things orderly, controlled, and organized; I tend to lean more neurotic than he does.

Looping, obsessive thoughts and compulsions… Mild, sure, but definitely present and persistent. And it seems that Orson shares in that struggle.

The prevalent disruption that has been his anxious spiraling leaves us feeling helpless. I may know what he’s going through, but only because I’m so personally well-versed in it. It doesn’t mean I have a magic bullet solution…

But after going on nearly a year of therapy…

I’m a believer now.

Everyone can benefit from it. And maybe, just maybe, some early support and intervention could work wonders for Orson. I set up a consultation. It went really well, gave me some hope, but she had a waiting list. “That’s okay,” I told her. “We’re not currently in crisis.”

By the time she could get us in her books, I. was. ready. And it wasn’t long after his first official appointment that we did, in fact, collapse into chaotic crisis.

Raising the White Brown Flag

I knew something was not right. Yes, toddlerhood is effing hard. Compound the difficulty by having Irish twins, and all bets are off. But Nova? Our bougie princess potty-trained practically overnight, her first go.

That’s not to say I think they’ll take to a lesson exactly the same way at the same pace. But it was validating to see that what I was doing was working for someone. Orson, on the other hand, his fourth attempt. And a threenager. Exercising his autonomy in big ways.

I read his opposition to potty-training as a purely behavioral issue. I’ve seen the comprehension is there, and he has shown he’s completely capable. Functionally, he’s like 92% potty-trained and continent out of the house. At home, it feels like we’re constantly bouncing back to square one.

Taking advice from the methodology I used for Nova’s successful training, I decided to DITCH THE DIAPERS at naptimes as well. If I thought it was bad before, this was all out hell on earth. The resentment began to simmer. The temptation to malign my toddler, assign spiteful intentions to his actions was pervasively presenting itself.

And, pray tell, how could it NOT?

I’d watch this boy, on a daily occasion, slide out of his bed, assume the position on his knees, and pee on the crib frame… With his potty literally steps away, readily accessible.

He would poop in the middle of his room, much to my chagrin. And, OBVIOUSLY, since his favorite movie is Wonka, he’d HAVE to dance around the “chocolate” he made singing the Oompa Loompa song. ‘Cause obviously.

This. was. EVERYDAY. We’d get angry and reactive. Rein it back in, since our assumption was that his payoff WAS our reaction. We’d get him up, all work on cleaning the mess together. Nathan would lose an hour of work to wade through the shit of all this with me.

Then, Orson would lay back down, after having his bedding changed, and maybe still get a tiny cat nap in. And the vicious cycle would continue. Exacerbated by impaired sleep.

Sh!t Hitting the Fan

Honestly, it might as well have. This heinous turn of events was the final straw. This is our story. Dun-dun.

I had reached my limit. I was suffering at a deficit. Staying firm, consistent, trying everything I could to outlast the opposition. Desperate, I finally told Nathan that what happens in Orson’s room during naptime stays in there during naptime.

We could rent a carpet shampooer when all was said and done, but something had to give. If we kept feeding the loop, going in when he would “spite-pee or spite-poop” as a naptime stall…or whatever TF he was doing…this would go on forever. So we’ll get him up after nap, clean everything in one go at the end.

It was a plan. And, boy, did it backfire…

We handled it as calmly and as nonreactive as we could the first day it happened, but Day 2 of Poo had me texting and emailing Orson’s AND my therapists (who, conveniently enough, work for the same practice).

Let me paint the poopy picture of what happened these “number” two days. Orson would not only just poop in his room, but he’d squeeze it through the crack under his door, in the air-transfer vent in the door, and fingerpaint the door itself. Making himself an absolute mess in the process.

Initially, I wanted to snap. Not even out of anger. I felt more like a defensive animal backed into a corner. Out of my mind, overwhelmed, capable of lashing out, flooded with adrenaline and riding that fight-or-flight wave. Nearly consumed by cortisol.

But then, something DID give. Something in me…and I found myself compassionately hugging my piss and shit-covered son. “Orson,” I spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. “Where do poop and pee go?” His quiet response? “On the potty.”

After sending pictures and recounting the events to both therapists, it was decided to at least put Orson back in pull-ups for naps. And, going forward, to evaluate him for neurodivergence, most likely OCD.

Shrinks for Littles

So, I’m not going to go into every detail here of all of the behavioral red flags we were seeing. Such as the ONE TIME he DID pee in his potty during nap.

I told him through the monitor: “Good job getting pee in the potty. Just leave it there, and we’ll empty it after your nap.” The words had hardly left my mouth when, in one swift motion, he lifted the bucket out of the potty and dumped it all over his floor. How….does…one….NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY?!?

Or forcefully pinching one off as soon as he’d be laid down to bed…after, just moments ago, REFUSING TO POOP ON THE POTTY. Or angrily squeezing out pee in his little SkipHop chair when we were still instituting time-outs.

Anywayyy…

Yeah, I may have a little potty-training PTSD. But I’m processing…

Two things, in this season, have been absolutely pivotal. Nathan and I just finished reading No Drama Discipline, a book that addresses the concept of disciplining children from a practical and neuro-scientifically based standpoint. That’s number one. Number two (pun intended) has been getting Orson into therapy.

Feeling supported and validated. Having a professional share the same concerns about my son while also having a wealth of knowledge and experience on potential ways to support him. It feels like actionable steps, a toolkit to grow into the type of parent that Orson truly needs.

But this whole therapeutic process has really driven in the concept I previously spoke about: Most Generous Interpretation. Reframing the “bad” behavior, factoring in where Orson is developmentally, and why red flags may be presenting…

Oh man, absolute game changer. He is ANXIOUS AF.

He’s stressed. Overwhelmed. Overstimulated half the time. He’s insanely perceptive for his age, super sensitive and empathic, seems to have some sensory processing issues, yet is still wildly gifted. Already naming emotions in others and himself. Daily obsessing over 100 and 200-piece jigsaw puzzles. Fixated on order and everything being in its proper place…

I recognize the neuroticism. The anxiety. The flailing, powerless attempts for control over ANYTHING. My God, I did have a child exactly like me…

And as an aside…

This deep realization and understanding that oh man, yeah, I see how my parents got where they did. I understand how and why they raised me like that. I can have this detached compassion of comprehending that this. is. HARD.

And guess what…

Their choices, while totally understandable, were still unequivocally WRONG. The toxicity, the abuse… I see the reactivity that can lead down that path. I’ve felt and experienced it. And instead, I just DON’T WALK DOWN THAT PATH. I feel and process my emotions instead of taking them out on and codependently blaming my children for them.

Just a little PSA.

Abuse. Is. Wrong. Even if you see how someone got to that choice, the choice was still wrong.

My son is exactly how I was and, in some ways, still am, and I absolutely love the shit out of him. Just not the shit I have to clean off of him.

Sensory Toys and Play Therapy

Getting to some of the nitty-gritties now. You’ve all been so patient (assuming you didn’t jump straight to the recs).

Orson is still very young. At this stage of therapy, it’s primarily play-based and observation.

So, what things draw his attention the most? How does he interact with the objects he most zeroes in on? What sensory toys appeal to him, and what is the associated sensory input he tends to seek out? What does he try to avoid?

All super helpful and incredibly telling. The more comfortable he becomes with his therapist, the more he reveals his quirks and idiosyncrasies. The orderly patterns that he incorporates into his play. How advanced he is in certain areas.

Something I was not aware of, by the way, was that “Gifted & Talented” (IYKYK) is actually a type of neurodivergence. She suspects that may also be at play. I’m inclined to agree, though I may be a tad biased.

So, top suspects for what’s going on with Orson:

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Gifted & Talented, and/or Sensory Processing Disorder. And if it’s simply the latter, it’s likely we’ll refer out to Occupational Therapy in the near future.

In the mean time, his therapist has provided me with some incredibly helpful, basic, and easily actionable tools to address some of his periodic behavioral acting out/looping. She even sent us home with some sensory toys she uses in office to start building a “Calming Box” of our own. More on that to come…

Just the small recommendations I’ve worked into the day-to-day (like sensory toys, back tickles, and a Calming Box), along with some creative flexes of my own (goofily anthropomorphizing his stuffed triceratops for daily reflection time), have been immensely helpful for all of us.

And now, without further ado, I’ll share some recommendations for sensory toys so that you can experience some of the same benefits.

Sensory Toys, Tools, & Teaching

First, some basic teaching about sensory play.

We’ve all been taught the rudimentary five senses: seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, and tasting. There are a couple others that are just as important.

One is proprioception, or the sense of where we are in space. Body awareness. Another is interoception, or sensing what is happening within our bodies. And the last is the vestibular sense. In other words, spatial awareness.

Sensory processing issues arise when someone is hypersensitive or, alternatively, numb to certain sensory input. Be it external or internal. Maybe an oversimplification lacking much nuance, but people in these categories tend to be sensory-seekers or sensory-avoiders, or some combination of both.

Some examples of our sensory quirks?

Bright lights and unexpected noises seem to be some sensory-inputs that Orson tends to avoid or be hypersensitive to. He has difficulty trying to do new things, he’s incredibly cautious, and he struggles with sudden transitions. He also tends to HYPERFOCUS for long periods of time. Usually on advanced jigsaw puzzles. Then, there’s his interoceptive struggle with potty training.

With my misophonia, I can be triggered to anger pretty quickly by random auditory inputs. I am hypersensitive to interoceptive signals about needing to use the bathroom. Every night, I obsess, then compulsively go pee about 4 times in quick succession. Curious thing, since I grew up very numb to that signal.

Nova, whom we suspect might have signs of ADHD, tends to be more sensory-seeking.

This looks like more risk-taking on the playground. She’s super fidgety and restless, and I have to give her a firm leg massage most nights to “squeeze the bunnies out”. Nova plays rough. Takes a tumble and hops back up, unfazed. Loves spicy foods and robust flavors. And she is HIGHLY distractable.

So, how can I best support my VERY different, polar-opposite, Irish twins?

Sensory play! With sensory toys, tools, and activities that engage all of their senses. Play like this is suitable for most anyone, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, sensory-seeking or avoiding.

Maybe you pick and choose activities that provide some buffer for your little ones, if they are sensitive/avoidant. However, don’t be afraid to gradually nudge and encourage more “out-of-the-comfort-zone” play. The benefits of sensory play are just about limitless when it concerns a child’s learning and development.

Sensory play with appropriate sensory toys and tools can pave the way for your child to feel more safe, secure, and confident. To understand his or her world. To learn how to process and make sense of what’s going on around him or her.

Sensory play aids in the development of social, language, and motor skills. Creativity. Curiosity. Exploration. The EVER-IMPORTANT skills of emotional regulation and SELF-soothing… Can I get an amen?

Sensory toys include really any toy or tool that engages at least one of your child’s senses. Bonus if you can find toys that incorporate as many senses as possible! Also, during play with sensory toys and tools, make use of the opportunity to give your child a more robust vocabulary by talking about what he or she is sensing.

Anyway, now that I’ve sold you on incorporating more sensory play into your day-to-day with your kids, let’s talk about the sensory toys and tools that we love using for ours.

Sensory Toys & Tools _{(For real, this time…)}

This is where it gets fun! We have a lot of toys and tools that have become sensory favorites of Orson and Nova. Let’s go ahead and dive in to these recommendations!

1. The Figgy Couch

Because of how often it gets used and the multitude of ways in which it gets used, the Figgy ranks high on our list of sensory toys. For sensory-seekers, it makes for a safe and cushy crash pad. Like when Nova wants to take a flying leap off of our couch.
But high marks for versatility! This can also be a great for sensory-avoiders. Because of the ultra-strong Velcro and structural integrity, especially combined with a couple strategically-draped blankets, you’ve got yourself an awesome calm-down cave for grumpy bears. Quiet, soft, dark, and cozy.
I’ve seen both Orson and Nova gain more confidence and courage over the course of playing with their Figgy couch as well. Even as sensory-avoidant as Orson can be, he’s become more daring and brave. He even uses the Figgy blocks like an occupational-therapy peanut ball to roll and flip over his own head! So, the Figgy really hits every sensory note for us.
We also love using the Figgy mats for some toddler exercise time. Kiddie calisthenics! Obstacle courses. A slide! And comfy mats for storytime when it’s time to chill. Only limited by your imagination for how many ways you can fit the Figgy couch into your child’s sensory play.

You can read my more in-depth review of the Figgy using this link, or check the price using the button below!

2. A Backyard Climbing Dome

If you’re looking to help your child really hone his or her senses of proprioception and spatial awareness, look into getting one of these! The amount of mental engagement, focus, balance, and gross motor skill that a climbing dome requires is developmentally profound.
You have to calculate the right position for your feet and hands to maintain safety. You have to maintain coordination to not lose your grip. The hand-eye coordination, the visual input every step of the way, not to mention muscle control…
Orson and Nova have untold amounts of fun climbing their “mountain”. Nice thing is, there are appropriately small ones for toddlers. Even some that you can have indoors.

I’ll link to the one we have first, which has the nice addition of a rope net ladder on the side.

Then, here is a fun pyramid alternative.

Lastly, a charming, wooden, indoor option for early climbers.

3. A Sensory Play Table

In terms of sensory toys and tools, this one is an absolute staple. It’s versatile, first of all. You can use play sand in it, water in it, or a combination of both with the two separate, removable trays. Don’t expect the umbrella to hold up exceptionally well, as it’s cheap. However, the table has held up without issue! I can even sit on it without so much as a creak. For the inexpensive price tag and the bonus set of toys it includes, it’s kind of a steal.
We get Orson and Nova out back to their sensory play table multiple times a week. It’s especially fun to use in the summer when we fill the trays with water and let them go to town. I’ve even used it in the wintertime (it’s still comfortable outside in Texas), but instead of water, I’ll use it for sensory toys hide-and-seek.
Here’s a link to my Christmastime activities for toddlers that talks about it more, but in essence, I hide little toys for them to dig out of festive colored beans, peas, and lentils using this table. Again, it’s a versatile tool and a mainstay for sensory play.

4. A Toddler Ladder

You may not think this should be on a sensory toys list, and sure, it is more of a tool than a plaything, but it’s important enough to mention here. So, let me tell you why.
There are few greater, holistic, sensory experiences you can give your toddler than letting them help you in the kitchen! Talk about touching on every single one of our senses…
Seeing colorful fruits and veggies. Feeling the differences in chopping peppers and cucumbers versus something soft like a banana (these toddler knives are AWESOME and used almost daily in our house). Then, of course, tasting ingredients. Hearing toasters pop or blenders blend. Smelling spices and herbs.
Not to mention the spatial awareness, proprioception, fine motor AND gross motor skills utilized. Learning to listen to a recipe. Even the simple sensory experience of climbing this ladder to wash hands with slippery soap and wet water before meal prep… I feel like I could devote an entire post to the wealth of sensory experiences to expose a toddler to in the kitchen.

But today, I’m just going to tell you to get this toddler ladder and get your little one making dinner with you. Or maybe a snack like our healthy Pumpkin Bites or Bedtime Bars! Anyway, check out the ladder.

5. Balance Stepping Stones

Recommendation straight from Orson’s therapist! We used them in her office first. Then, same day, ordered our own set when we got home! We haven’t regretted our decision to do so.
This 5-piece sensory toys set serves so many functions. It helps promote gross motor skills, balance, proprioception, and spatial awareness.
These stepping stones have also provided great opportunities for my toddlers to hone the skill of taking turns. In conjunction with the Figgy (linked above), we even have an island-hopping iteration of The Floor is Lava game that Orson and Nova get a kick out of. With the tactile input of the bumpy-textured stones factored in as well, this set is a great addition to any collection of sensory toys!
Bonus: they easily nest inside each other for compact storage. Check them out here.

6. A Calming Box or Basket

I also owe the idea for this to Orson’s therapist, to whom I am unfathomably grateful! Our calming basket is an absolute godsend. The key thing with this concept is that you keep these special sensory toys separate from the general toys in rotation.
These sensory toys are curated specifically for calming and soothing. For learning emotional regulation. For stepping away from a stressful situation and mindfully resetting. And using our calming basket has. worked. WONDERS.
If either of our toddlers is melting down at mealtime and trying to fight food, we de-escalate. We maintain firm boundaries and consistency. Our number one rule is always that they try one bite of everything offered on their plate; if they absolutely can’t stomach it, they don’t have to like it or even finish it.
If they don’t follow the clear boundary, however, and it leads to conflict, we let them leave the table to calm down with the calming basket of sensory toys. Nathan and I get to collect ourselves, enjoy our own meals while they’re still warm, then feel more level-headed to meet the toddler intransigence from a more balanced place.
Oftentimes, Orson and Nova just really needed a few minutes of reset, too. Then, they oblige and eat their suppers.

Most of the time.

Anyway, you can take a variety of storage approaches here. We use our SlideAway toy storage organizer for easiest clean up. You can find that here.

Before getting the SlideAway, however, we started with a simple Rubbermaid container, which got the job done. Something like this would also be an ideal sensory toys storage solution:

So… What’s in the box??!

7. Musical Toys

Sometimes, you’ve just gotta feel the rhythm, shake the wiggles out, and boogie. There are times that we’ll use our Google Nest for a Disney music dance party or play Arctic Freeze Dance on Orson’s Hatch Rest. But other times….
We’ve just gotta let loose and make our own music!
And I’m not talking about battery-operated, overstimulating, flashy music toys that overload the senses. I’m talking about getting back to basics with simple, toddler-friendly, musical instruments. Bongo drums, maracas, and a fun, brightly-colored “lollipop” drum have been our faves. And instruments offer so much freedom for creativity beyond a push-button, electronic toy. Beyond music, I’ve seen Orson and Nova hunch over and use the drumsticks as pretend canes during dress-up time. There are even times where Orson or Nova really get a wild hair and go to town banging enthusiastically on the bongos WITH the maracas! Talk about auditory stimulation.
At any rate, playing with musical instruments is a helpful, grounding, sensory activity that can really spark creativity in your toddlers.

Three instrument options to start with that don’t cost too many Bachs…

These maracas are a simple place to start, and I can personally attest that after repeated abuse from toddler play, they hold up phenomenally well.

This lollipop drum takes it a step past the maracas in encouraging hand-eye coordination and body awareness. And its attractive design keeps littles coming back for more play! I mean, it looks like a lollipop! What’s not to love?

This petite, toddler-friendly, high-quality set of bongo drums is great for starting-out aspiring rockstars. It’s held up to rough play for almost 2 years now from not one, but TWO, toddlers, and I’ve enjoyed knocking some rhythm out of it from time to time as well. Check it out!

8. GUND Tinkle Crinkle Toys

An honorable mention on my list of sensory toys, but for good reason. Mister Fox was my daughter’s first toy after she was born, and even at 2.5 years old now, he just about never leaves her side. She’s never been a thumb-sucker or taken to a pacifier, but if Mister Fox’s comfort is unavailable, the world will END.
The company that manufactured Nova’s Mister Fox, Yoee, sold out to GUND. GUND made a few thoughtful updates to the original design, but kept to the spirit of the original vision. It’s a brilliant, little, all-in-one sensory toy, and safe for children from the newborn stage on. A soft, fluffy tail. A rattle. Even a teething toy if your child is still at that stage.
Mister Fox has been so cherished that we found one mint condition on eBay. Either as a back-up or as a grandchild gift to pass on the tradition. But GUND’s new Tinkle Crinkle line-up offers some adorable critters to choose from for your newborns and sensory-seekers.

Bonus: these are machine-washable sensory toys and hold up really well to repeated washing!

9. Green Toys Gardening Set

Like helping in the kitchen, getting your kid out in the garden provides a plethora of sensory learning. My kids periodically eat dirt. Checking the gustatory box right off the bat. Seriously, though, getting the kids to get in touch with nature is an absolute bounty of developmentally-boosting education.
Smelling plants and flowers and herbs. Touching the earth and getting dirt under their nails. Tasting the harvest (or the dirt). Seeing bugs! Hearing the birds singing outside or planes flying overhead. Feeling the warmth of the sun. The refreshing spray of the water hose as they fill up their little Green Toys watering can.
Orson and Nova love to take turns watering our raised backyard garden and our “family tree”. And they love their Green Toys gardening set!

10. Additional Sensory Toys, Activities, and Ideas to Inspire

Sensing that’s all for this Sensory Toys post.

What are some of your family’s favorite sensory toys? Find any must-haves to add to your sensory toys collection from my list? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Or maybe my experiences of parenting a neurodivergent toddler resonates with you and you’d like to reach out, either with questions or sage advice… Please do! We’re all in this together. Comment below, e-mail, follow me on my socials. Whatever works for you.

Until next time!