Oh ship! Nathan’s 40th birthday called for an epic surprise party…
The big FORTY just screams worthy of a surprise party. Saying “Bon Voyage” to your thirties, embarking on this momentous crossing into a new decade… It’s a milestone, to be sure. And I really wanted to mark the occasion for Nathan. He does so much for our family. We’re far more balanced because of the burdens he bears and trials we share…
I really, REALLY just wanted to make him feel the deep appreciation that I, Orson, and Nova all have for him. But I had never thrown a “grown-up” party before, much less as a surprise. Socialization is not my strong suit, but definitely a pain I’m leaning into and a strength I’m trying to develop. And even the kids’ parties have only really felt possible due to his support and about 3+ days to prep…
If I throw him a surprise party, I’ll only have a day and a half to prep!
(It won’t take a day and a half to read this, but if you want to jump to the after-party tips and recs, use this link.)
And how, pray tell, could I even arrange a surprise party with him IN. THE. HOUSE?? Or with us sharing finances? Any weird expense would likely flag his curiosity/suspicion… Not to mention, how budget conscious we try to be… How in the world can I possibly pull this surprise party off?
Charting a Course
This is where my OCD tendencies really shine… Once I feel like I’m onto a good idea, I grab that thought and run with it obsessively. Before long, a plan began to crystallize. First, ensure I can get him out of the house. Once that’s tacked in, I can solidify the rest.
“Hey, Nathan, I know you’ve really been wanting to take some sailing classes this year. You’ve been working so hard and could use a break; why don’t you use your birthday weekend for a solo sailing trip for some refreshing ‘you’ time and check that box?”
Seed planted. Had to water it a couple times before it sprouted, but sprout it did! He reserved his classes at Bay Area Sailing School in Kemah, TX for his birthday weekend, and I started framing out some details for his surprise party. Mwahaha.
Things initially felt… limited. I had some Amazon cash back rewards accrued between our Amazon Prime and Discover cards, but I usually rack those up throughout the year to go all out for Christmas. It wasn’t a ton to work with on this clandestine mission. Until…
Tariffs. I mean, there’s always a silver lining, right? Expecting impending blanket price hikes, we bit the bullet and crossed some prioritized big ticket items off our list. Things we already knew we were going to get for liveaboard boat life, might as well get ahead of the inflated costs… Got those points racked up pretty quickly from those priority purchases.
Win-win, in spite of economic turmoil.
Still, when you’re trying to target chosen themes perfectly, Amazon can feel limited in fitting options.
Digital Booty
Prior to this surprise-party challenge, it had never once occurred to me that I could actually use those points anywhere other than Amazon. Now? This cash-back currency is just next-level, pure, digital gold.
My favorite online store for party planning is Etsy, hands down. I have been a loyal patron of Love N Whimsy Balloons, an Etsy storefront, for the past few years now for all of my easy, showstopping, D-I-Y balloon garland needs. Karye Ann, the business owner, goes above and beyond with such enthusiasm that I never feel the need to look elsewhere.
Let’s see, since Nova’s first birthday, I’ve ordered about 6 garlands from her now, and have been impressed every time… Especially with Tricera-Derp. But Nathan’s 40th birthday balloons have been the classiest, by far.
Anyway…
When I made the connection that I can actually use my Amazon Prime cash back points to purchase e-gift cards for non-Amazon retailers, the clouds parted! Cha-ching!
I used some points for Amazon party supplies (like this party kit and this nautical flag banner), bought an Etsy e-gift card for the remaining celebratory ephemera, and used the rest to buy a Total Wine digital gift card. Party grog covered, as well as a pricey, gift bottle of Offerman-edition Lagavulin Single-Malt Scotch. Check, check. Let’s get nauti, buoy!
Keeling It
I’ve got to give myself props here. I thought of everything. I was very, very cunning in my execution of this event that he may not trust me in the future. The budget was digital, cash-like currency that would raise no flag.
I knew I’d need some party-specific groceries delivered, too. But he’d see any Walmart+ deliveries on our shared account.
Troubleshoot? While running some errands at H-E-B, I used some cash I’d been saving up to buy a physical H-E-B gift card. I had a digital shopping list, so I knew exactly how much I’d need… With just enough extra on it for delivery fees and a tip. Instacart gift cards could’ve worked in a pinch as well.
As for packages? My neighbor, Alexis, was more than happy to fence deliveries for me. Packages delivered “C/O” (care of), so that I’d be able to sneak them in whenever Nathan was out. Boxes of surprise party supplies hidden in random nooks and crannies around our house. Even stuffing shelf-stable food goods in Orson’s dinosaur suitcase at the top of his closet.
Even still…
With every sneaky success there was a quiet apprehension that it was only a matter of time before my devious deeds would be discovered. May loomed, his sailing classes approached, and an untold number of anxieties tickled my brain…
A million pieces had to fall into place so serendipitously to avoid being found out or to pull off the surprise party at all. I’d had surgery at the end of March, after which my activities were restricted for 6 weeks. The restrictions lifted May 1st, one day before his actual 40th, and only 2 days before surprise party prep would commence.
Will I be able to lift the stand mixer to bake his birthday cake? The cake itself is a flavor experiment; what if it tastes terrible? What if I don’t have enough time to get everything done? What if he finds out about it? Will anyone show up? Will the party actually be a surprise? And will the babies be cooperative, so I can prepare? Etc, etc…
Smooth Sailing… Mostly.
Finally, the weekend was upon us. Friday, May 2nd, the four of us celebrated Nathan’s 40th birthday in a pretty low-key way.
We went out to a new-to-us pizza place, Dark Side Pizza Co. (review coming soon), followed that up with a jaunt across the street to Arrows Active Play Park to let the kids run amok (myself included), and had Nathan blow candles out on a delicious Laika cheesecake once we got home.
Babies went to bed, we went out with our friends to see Thunderbolts (I was not expecting therapy from that movie), and that was the day. I asked Nathan how his birthday was, if it felt out-of-the-ordinary enough with the imminent sailing trip… He said that it was a good day, that he felt like “the day wasn’t that different” but that he was, so it was all okay.
Oh Boo, I gotchyu…
Message I received? At peace with mild disappointment. So, I’m totally encouraged at this point that he truly has no idea what’s coming.
He left around 5 AM the following morning for his long drive toward Galveston. I woke up at 7 AM and jumped in the deep end. Hanging banners, filling the kiddos in on the surprise party secret mission (much to their amusement), running out to the H-E-B delivery driver at 10:30 AM so that she wouldn’t trip the Ring doorbell camera.
Funny sidebar: I had made two or three separate notes on the delivery order about the 40th-birthday surprise party plans. H-E-B responded by sending a beautiful fern as a gift for Nathan. The driver also asked me if the 40th birthday surprise party was for my father, so all around, I have a lot more appreciation for H-E-B now.
Balancing babies…
This was shockingly easy. Not that we didn’t hit some minor snags here and there, but I tried to balance surprise-party prep with present parenting.
I let them help hand me balloons for the garland assembly. We had a living-room-floor, Chick-Fil-A, picnic lunch on blankets while watching Disney World ride videos. Orson, Nova, and I took twice-a-day neighborhood walks and even fit in a visit to the swing set.
Yes, I depended on a couple Disney movies to see us through the weekend, but all in all, we made it through together. And when Orson gazed around and told me before bed that I was doing a good job on Papa’s birthday, I got a second wind to fill my sails.
Baked cake, made curds and craquelin and frostings, decorated, cleaned, and sooo many loads of dishes… First night, I worked up until midnight. So exhausted from work-mode that I struggled to get any rest. Dreamed about cake disasters throughout the night.
Day 2, Day of Surprise Party:
Up around 7:30 AM after a restless night spent tossing and turning. After getting breakfast for the three of us, I finished the garland and set the cake layers out for carving and assembly.
I chose to make a homemade, from scratch, Piña Colada-inspired, dye-free Funfetti cake (recipe in the works). Topped with a spiked Piña Colada gelee. Nathan’s mom used to make him a Funfetti cake every year for his birthday, so a nostalgia nod felt appropriate for the milestone.
And, honestly, much of the rest of the day is a blur, looking back just days later. Especially when hitting an unexpected snag…
I was already feeling the clock Day 2. I had a balloon sculpture I wanted to make (spoiler alert: didn’t get to it). Had plans to bake up and fill some Key Lime Cream Puffs. Needed to get the babies down at a good time. Get all the charcuterie set out. Throw myself together. A million things left to do on my to-do list…
Text Received. May 4th, 3:25 PM.
Nathan: Passed! One answer wrong out of 100.
Me: That’s amazing! So what’s left?
Nathan: That’s it! Gonna grab something to eat and head home. Should get back around 7-7:30.
OMG. Originally, he wasn’t going to be back until closer to 9 PM. So, how many hours did I just lose? More than you’d think. My mind started reeling, trying to assess what could be done with what time was left. Wait, there isn’t actually that much time for the surprise party prep itself anymore. Still need to allot time for bedtime. For getting ready. Last minute tidying.
For a moment, I shorted out. Little brain frazzle stopped me in my tracks, and I hit party-prep paralysis. When I rebooted, I corrected into a triage mindset. Reached out and updated the guests, told them to stay posted for any updates, and brainstormed with my friend, Brandi, to work out a plausible stall.
Me: Grab another quiet sit down meal and take your time! Wanted to take care of baby put down before you get home so that you can enjoy the last of your bday weekend.
It was a shaky stall, but I had to hold out hope he’d take the bait. And, since we location share on Google maps, I was able to get relatively real-time updates on how far away he was and an ETA.
Surprise Party Success
Nathan sent me from party mode to panic mode in about two seconds flat with that little hiccup, but when he agreed to grab a bite and take his time, I took a deep breath and got back to work. Fed the kids some supper. Got them to bed at 6 PM without a fight.
It helped that they both wanted to go to sleep wearing their headphones, just in case the “SURPRISE!” from party guests was loud. Got myself in nicer, less-floury clothes. And even managed to take the risk of making time to bake the cream puffs after all. I’d already made the curd and craquelin. I certainly didn’t want to waste them.
I finished and filled the puffs and began working on the last of the dishes just as the first guests snuck in through the side-garage door. Unfortunately, some people weren’t able to make it to the party in time for the surprise reveal, if they made it all.
In spite of delays and last-minute cancels, there were four people in our kitchen to enthusiastically celebrate Nathan as soon as he walked in the door to his surprise party. And that felt like a HUGE success. And up until the grand reveal, he had no idea. Even took the recycling can out to the street before coming in the house… Good man.
We had a few more friends drop by throughout the course of the surprise party, the cake was great, the puffs were amazing (and FRESH), and everything was stunning. Thanks to yours truly.
Most importantly, Nathan said that it was the best party he’s ever had, certainly the only surprise party, and that he’s never felt so loved. So, I fucking nailed it.
Happy 40th birthday, Nathan. I so got you good!
Surprise, this post has an after-party!
The gift I leave you with is this:
A list of tips to pull off your own epic surprise party and some unbeatable recommendations for party supplies based on my favorites.
First, some tips:
1. Obsess.
Planning a surprise party requires some obsession. Plan for every eventuality and every step of party prep. Come up with a plan for getting the guest-of-honor out of the house naturally. I used something that Nathan already wanted to do as a convenient means to get him gone. Only caveat to this advice? Obsess CONSTRUCTIVELY.
Obsess over getting the fine details in order, not anxiously spiraling on what could go wrong. Oh, we have a doorbell camera. I’ll have the garage open to sneak people in that way. What cheeses do I want on my charcuterie tray? Instead of: will anyone even be there to eat the snacks?
2. Consider “Paper-Trails” and “Loose-Ends”.
Everything needs to be neatly packaged. Do you share finances with the person for whom you’re throwing a surprise party? If purchases are made and packages show up, will the cat be out of the bag before you’ve even begun? Neighbors or local friends can fence packages. Use gift cards, digital and otherwise, for surprise party expenses.
Total Wine e-gift cards for surprise-party booze and gifts.
Etsy e-gift cards for surprise party supplies and decor.
H-E-B, Walmart, or Instacart gift cards for grocery delivery.
3. Ask for Help.
If you have access to it. In my case, with my OCD nature, I didn’t really take advantage of local support beyond texting friends whether they liked my ideas or not. When I’d feel mentally stuck, an encouraging message would get me over the hump.
On the other hand, had the kids been unmanageable while party prepping, I would’ve had to call for backup. That being said, the kids were actually incredibly helpful and chill for the duration of the party prep. It was fun to involve them in the process and watch them be so excited for their Papa to be celebrated.
4. Manage Expectations.
Past a certain point, with limited time and resources, you may have to scale back on grand visions. That’s OKAY! Triage. I had to make the call that my house was, in fact, tidy enough for guests. Even though I didn’t have time to mop. I didn’t make the balloon life preserver I wanted to, but think of all I did accomplish. It didn’t ruin the surprise party. Etc.
5. Embrace the Mental Marathon.
Especially if you’re juggling other responsibilities, like parenting littles. ESPECIALLY if you’re organizing a surprise party by yourself. There’s definitely some sacrifice required to throw a stellar shindig. The number of times I felt myself hitting a wall and just having to plow through it.
Lean into the pain. Keep putting one foot in front of the other onto the next task. Understand that it is worth it when it all comes together.
6. Expect the Unexpected and Roll with It.
Didn’t take into consideration his sailing class could end early. That I wouldn’t have as much time as I thought. I came up with a creative solution in the moment, suggesting in a non-suspicious way that he could take his time. Be open to creative problem solving on the fly. But even better if you consider the possibility and have a plan at the ready…
I was also expecting more of a turnout to his surprise party. Didn’t happen that way, and it was still wonderful. Just gotta roll with whatever happens at the end of the day. No event can always live up perfectly to daydreams of surprise-party grandeur. Let that expectation go, and it should be smooth sailing ahead.
And, now, some favorite party supply recommendations!
Etsy is the best for most thematic and personalized party supplies. If you fall in love with Etsy as I have, be sure to sign up for the Etsy Insider subscription for superb discounts on shipping and access to exclusive products. Here are some of the shops with which I’ve been most impressed:
For All Things Balloons:
Love N Whimsy Balloons: Karye Ann’s shop is my mainstay for all of my balloon garland needs. She goes above and beyond and wins a solid 5-star recommendation from me. She enthusiastically brings your balloon visions to life and helps to curate the perfect blend of colors for the perfect aesthetic.
For Superior Signage:
Party Pop Supplies: I was blown away by the quality of Nathan’s nautical Happy Birthday banner. Sure, I wanted some proper surprise-party signage, but this banner exceeded expectations. Peruse the storefront; Erica has some of the cutest, punny, and customizable celebratory ephemera, all hand-crafted and high quality.
Cut and Create Co.: Beautiful banners at unbeatable prices. For Orson’s Dino-FOUR birthday and Nova’s 3rd BEE-Day, this was my go-to shop. Well-made and sturdy signage to make a statement and get the message across.
These Toppers Take the Cake:
Riley’s Little Corner: I’ve developed a deep love for finding the PERFECT cake toppers that are high quality and on point. Nathan’s “Sailing Into 40” ship helm cake topper fit the brief like nothing else. Cake toppers like these are keepsake worthy.
Estes Design Studio: For Nova’s 3rd birthday, I ordered the most stunning cake topper from this Christian, veteran, family-operated small business. The shop owners are experts in the laser industry, and it really shows in the work that they create. Laser-cut, delicate, wooden cake toppers. Laser-engraved, ENORMOUS charcuterie boards. Etc. Check out their shop!
Straw, Sticks, ‘N’ Bricks: This shop has some inspired paper cutouts. I ordered Star Wars customized cutouts to use as cake toppers for Orson’s 3rd Dark Side birthday party and Nova’s R2-D2 2nd birthday party. Again, these toppers make beautiful keepsakes and adorn their baby-book birthday pages.
PS Designs: Okay, I need to give you fair warning here. These cake toppers are top tier and HIGH cost. But for good reason. Not only are they high quality, but there are some that actually include flashing lights. For Orson’s Dino-FOUR birthday, he had the flashing Jurassic Park gates. Let’s just say: the other young party guests were asking to take it home. It was that cool.
For Milestone Memorabilia:
Bayberries Studio: To be fair, I bought this laser-cut sailboat because it fit the theme and the price was so reasonable, but I wasn’t sure if I’d even end up incorporating it into his surprise party. It was a bit of an afterthought, just-in-case purchase. And I don’t regret it at all. This piece, once painted, became such a noteworthy and integral part of the event. Sign Nathan’s boat, please. Highly recommend a purchase like this for a milestone celebration. We’ll cherish it, for sure.
BE Britt Elizabeth: For assorted acrylic and idyllic gifts, look no further. When I saw the acrylic sailboat that the shop offered, I had to have it for Nathan’s surprise party. In fact, the concept of the cake design was ultimately built around this piece. Britt has so many gorgeous, gift-worthy items in her storefront: gift tags, coasters, and drink stirrers, oh my.
Honorable Mentions to Amazon Buys:
Amazon fills any gaps left open by Etsy, but mainly is comprised of cheaper surprise-party materials. Tableware, tablecloths, various accoutrement that set the scene without having quite such a personal touch (or associated price tag) as Etsy ephemera.
I’ve found various “party kits” by some Amazon shops worth mentioning. I ordered this classy and thematically-appropriate nautical party kit from Grencian. While I’m not equally impressed by all of their offerings, I will say that they’ve got range. Whether you want an axolotl party or a Titanic party, they’ve probably got you covered for a reasonable price point.
My favorite party kit I’ve run into so far from Amazon came from the storefront YesBox. While they don’t have any and every imaginable theme like some other brands, they do what they do well. The party-in-a-box kits feel thoughtfully curated, and it’s what I went with for Orson’s Dino-FOUR celebration.
I could go on, but the key takeaway here is this: it’s not difficult to find plenty of suitable party supplies on Amazon at a decent price. However, I stand by the idea that Etsy is the GOAT when it comes to infusing a party with personality. Thoughtful personal touches. Keepsake-worthy ephemera. Memorable and creative gifts.
Ultimately, end of the day, the most important things a surprise party needs to be successful are thought, effort, and lots of heart. If it’s got that, it’ll be one poppin’ party.