Wishing my sweet Orson the happiest 4th birthday. RAWR!!!
I know people always say it. To the point that it’s cliché. Oh, they grow up so fast! How are they already fill-in-the-blank years old?! But I’m not sure it’s entirely settled in yet. The realization that my boy Orson is celebrating his 4th birthday…
There’s a bit of disbelief attached to it. Maybe even a little grief. This has been a particularly trying year for our family, definitely the hardest by far. Raising two toddlers. Questioning whether the teen will see graduation.
I’ll spare the details, but suffice it to say, 2024 has been all dedicated to pure survival. And I think about how, while you can’t really deny the circumstance of survival mode and the toll it takes, what an undue burden that must be on littles.
Coming up on his 4th birthday, as empathic as he is, I still doubt Orson grasps much of what’s ensuing behind the scenes. The burn out, the frustration, the exhaustion. Drop in the bucket, really, but suffice it to say, I’m sure he’s gotta feel all of those things around him, even if he has little comprehension as to why.
What was I saying?
Oh yeah, higher highs and lower lows. Lots of lower lows as Orson hit his 4th birthday, but we made it. And that’s worth celebrating.
Growth Worth Celebrating
In many ways, we’re stuck in the mire. Still have potty struggles, but not as dire. Why yes, I am a poet…
We’ve discovered a lot about Orson (and ourselves) over the past year. The potty training issues are more of a symptom secondary to neurodivergence, go figure. OCD runs in the family, and my boy has got it.
As a result, we hit those toddler phases HARD, then circle back repeatedly, getting stuck in the tricky feelings… Seemingly more out of need to “complete the loop” than responding to any triggering event.
But we have seen so much growth. We challenge him and his inflexibility, then see adaptability in the long-term. We see his ability to pivot developing. Coping with unmet expectations and disappointment when things don’t go perfectly his way. He feels his feelings… And externally processes his feelings. A lot.
And, then, starts to let them pass.
For a four year old, he is so emotionally intelligent, empathic, sensitive. He’s incredibly smart and loves pursuing new knowledge. His OCD comes out in interesting ways during mastery activities.
Every night, he wants to practice writing the next letter in the alphabet. Always recalling which one he wrote the night before. Well, Orson, we finished the alphabet. Okay, he says, moving onto numbers. Always in perfect succession. And always every single night, without fail. Or else.
And it is astounding how much knowledge and memory he holds in his head at, now, 4 years old.
Firsts
Not only have we had opportunities to see incremental growth this year, but we’ve also seen some awesome firsts.
This was the first year Orson wanted to be involved in his party planning. To the extent that months prior (he’s just like his Mama), he knew that he knew that he wanted a coconut cake and a dinosaur-themed 4th birthday party. DINOFOUR! Thatta boy!
AND, only one day after his 4th birthday party, a miraculous first to celebrate… He stopped watching Miss Lily, took himself to the bathroom without an announcement or any prompting, and POOPED ON THE POTTY!
A LOT…
All those yummy, birthday treats.
This year, we’ve seen his earliest attempts at reading and writing. Just self-prompted “drawing” of letters. He’s even put together his first standard LEGO build: a derpy, little reindeer that I build to display every Christmas. He’s been on his first camping trip with Papa; then, his first family one during MY and Nova’s first ever camping trips.
We’ve taken him to see his first movie. A theater showing of Phantom Menace. He was a rockstar through most of it, and we made it through the whole thing. A definite feat for a toddler with as dialogue-heavy and bureaucratic as Episode I feels.
It’s so easy to let these moments and memories slip away, instead of honoring their arrival. Once first milestones are met, like crawling, toddling, walking, running, and speaking happen, it’s all too easy to miss how many seemingly mundane first experiences are happening CONSTANTLY.
Even something as small as his first experience of eating a whole, uncut apple by himself (Dec. 9th) felt worthy of recognition. Enough that I called Nathan out of his office just to witness what was taking place. It’s silly, but wild… It takes a hella long time for a child’s tiny mouth to circumnavigate a whole Honeycrisp.
My boy is growing up.
Happy 4th Birthday, Orson!
Orson’s birthday party was fantastic. As fantastic as a 4th birthday party can be, I mean. We kept it super low-key. Checked the box of coconut cake and candles as soon as everyone was there, just to get it out of the way so the kids could play.
Nova was out cold for naptime (after an EPIC meltdown), so we just let her sit that ceremonial part out. Orson blew out all four candles by himself in a single go! Then, when it felt natural, I let him sit on his Figgy couch, kind of out of the limelight, to open his presents.
The new toys got added into circulation quickly, and he, Nova, and all of their friends played cordially together in some weird blend of chaotic, loud, peaceful conviviality while Jurassic Park played in the background.
His 4th birthday was a glorified playdate, and everyone seemed to have a great, laidback time. Especially Tricera-Derp.
There’s so much hardship in this season, but so much beauty and growth and accomplishment and milestones. Yes, we’re still working on sensory issues, OCD, and neurodivergence. With every passing year, however, getting to know every quirk, every favorite, every interest, and point of personality that my son has is become one of my greatest privileges in life.
Happy 4th birthday, Orson! You are, and always will be, one of my favorite people on this planet.
You’re definitely my favorite Orson.